Archie started to become really hard work the week that Marcus was home (last week)- we both noticed it and I guess we hoped he would improve and be ok, as he usually is great when Marcus leaves.
But this time has been very different and he has really turned on me. No matter what I say, he yells at me and it is breaking my heart. Jac has seen him in action this week and she too is amazed how terrible his attitude towards me has been, at a mere 3 years of age.
I want my gorgeous little boy back, the little Archie that always used his manners and gave me cuddles just 'cause he wanted to. I want my happy go lucky Archie back, the one that has that cute chuckle that melts my heart, not breaks my heart.
I know that deep down it is partly our fault; he is quite mature for his age and all that he must handle- we can't expect him to adjust perfectly every time Marcus goes, even though he pretty much has up until now. He adores his Dad and it is evident that he is missing him oh so much at the moment. So much so, that I think I am copping the brunt of his longing for Marcus. Bless you buddy, I miss your Dad like crazy too.
But how do I approach his behaviour and get him to understand that he is hurting me? Easier said than done, that's for sure... I've tried ignoring him; having chats like 2 adults about feelings; yelling back; sending him to his room and giving him my full attention when Lily is asleep and it is all failing me big time.
I thought that maybe when he was in his room this morning I could storm in with Marcus on the phone, telling him that "Daddy can hear everything you are saying to me in America!"... Marcus spoke to him sternly and he sounded a little threatened and regretful and we thought it might do the trick. But half an hour later, he flips over the tiniest incident and world war 3 is on again.
Oh Archie, you really are breaking my heart and I hope that you will improve in the very near future, as it can't keep going like this. I know some Mums have kids that test them every day, so I must think of this and be grateful that this is my real first major test- he is healthy and on the whole, an amazing little man that I love to bits, but geez... you are dynamite at the moment! I am sure tomorrow will be a better day...
As much as I know traveling with Marcus will be a whole new challenge in itself- I am really looking forward to our time together as a family and having Marcus around to help with discipline issues on a day to day basis. Maybe that is what he needs, a little more stability from us...
I had just about had enough at around 5pm this evening, so I decided to head outside and take a few photos, which might sound a little crazy, but the kids love outside and it seemed to make Archie a happier boy and Lily loves watching him... and I too automatically felt better about things- my camera is my saviour, a way for me to escape my somewhat small dramas and feel alive and happy again. Here are a few snaps that I am grateful for of the cherubs.
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